Easing Anxiety With Crochet

When Life Becomes Too Much

  Like many, my anxiety started when I became a mother. Somewhere between my hormones going awry and being closed off from the outside world, my life became lonely and I just had too much time to think. While my real anxiety didn't develop fully until my second child arrived, I still had depressing bouts and anxiety filled days. After Marshall, my second, was born and the babymoon was over, I found myself concerned with my body. I had extreme Health Anxiety and I had convinced myself that I had cancer. I remember not too long ago where I laid in bed for about two weeks straight telling myself that I was about to die. I even wrote to my children in their journals telling them how much I loved them and my wishes for their life since I wasn't going to be there. Anxiety is real. It actually exists and that is something that took me a long time to understand.

   I have had a lump on my leg for several years but around that time, it had started to hurt and ache to the point where I started taking pain killers to ease the pain. I went to the ER because I didn't have health insurance hoping that they could diagnose me with something and in my head, cancer. I wanted to get it over with and start the dying process. I needed an answer but I all I got were prescriptions that were never filled and about $8,000 in medical bills that I just cannot afford to pay. About a week later I went to see an Orthopedic DR and they took X-Rays and diagnosed me with bursitis and a herniated disc in my back. It was hard but I accepted this diagnosis. My life got a little better after that. 

Health Anxiety is Hard to Defeat

  Here I am today and for the past couple of weeks, I have been feeling a little off. I feel dizzy and kind of spaced out. I don't suffer from allergies and am otherwise healthy.My lymph nodes under my chin swell and become tender from time to time so naturally I convinced myself that I have Lymphoma. I'm not sure what would be worse... to actually have these diseases or having health anxiety. If it isn't one thing that is wrong with my body, my mind makes up something else. These side affects like dizziness and pain could all be from the anxiety itself. It's a horrible process. I have to meditate and pray to God for the strength to overcome these negative thoughts. 

Crochet & Anxiety

  I've learned that when I am going through one of these horrible anxiety spells that if I pick up a crochet hook and get to work, my mind eases and I relax. Don't get me wrong, I still have a hard time with convincing myself that I am sick but when I crochet, it allows me to focus on more positive things. It gives me a goal and a purpose. Staying at home with the kids 24/7 is no easy feat and it breaks my heart thinking of how many lonely momma's there are out there in the world suffering with anxiety on top of it all. Through crochet though, I not only am able to create and feel a sense of accomplishment, I am connecting with a community and that is extremely important for anxiety sufferers. Isolation is a major component and key to anxiety. Us SAHM's need to eliminate isolation and reconnect with people. We need to spend less time in our own heads and get out in the world and have a purpose or else we will go insane and anxiety will win.

Don't Let Anxiety Win

Keep up the fight. Don't let anxiety win. Find something that can help you overcome this horrible illness and stick with it whether it be crochet or some other hobby that will help you put anxiety on the back burner. We are bigger than all of our worries and once we learn how to overcome the non stop worry and learn to let go and let God handle our worry and fears, we will realize that we have a purpose and are capable of amazing things. Get off the couch momma and turn off Netflix. Take the kiddos to the park, reconnect with an old friend. Make something! Just whatever you do, don't worry.